Breaking the Stigma: Azia's Personal Journey with Vaginismus and Vulvodynia

Breaking the Stigma: Azia's Personal Journey with Vaginismus and Vulvodynia

Get ready to learn about vaginismus and vulvodynia in a fun and informative way with Azia To! Azia is an author, public, and key thought leader on vaginismus and vulvodynia. She is based in Toronto but currently resides in Spain. Azia is here to spread awareness and increase access to education about vaginismus and vulvodynia.


Vaginismus and vulvodynia are often stigmatized and misunderstood, so Azia uses various tools to break down those barriers. First, she started leveraging social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram to reach a broad audience and spread the word about these conditions.

Today, she offers digital guides and courses to provide in-depth information and support for those dealing with vaginismus and vulvodynia. Here is the story of Konfettie's newest Play Partner: Azia To (@azia_mery).

What is the difference between Vaginismus and vulvodynia?
Azia says that Both are sometimes used interchangeably but are two different conditions.

Vaginismus is when the vaginal muscles are so tense that they make any insertion (tampons, objects, penis, etc.) difficult. The tightness of the muscles can be due to pain or fear of pain, or avoidant behavior around sex (which is why it's common among many conservative communities).

Whereas vulvodynia is pain in the vulva. The vulva includes the vaginal opening, clitoris, mons pubis, labia minora, labia majora, vestibule, urethra, Bartholin's glands, perineum, and Skene's glands. It is possible to have both vulvodynia and vaginismus!

Who is Azia? 
Azia (she/her/they) - is an author, public speaker, and key thought leader on vaginismus and vulvodynia. With over 6 years of experience living with her own vaginismus and vulvodynia, she brings an honest and authentic perspective of the conditions on TikTok and Instagram.

"Think of me as your Captain Kirk of exploring your own galaxy (wink, wink). I'm proud to be a member of the queer community and identify as Filipino/Chinese. While I'm based in Toronto, I'm currently living the digital nomad dream in Spain."

What is your goal? 
I aim to use sex tech and fitness to make the self-exploration of pleasure more innovative and accessible. 


What do you offer?
Azia provides digital resources to support individuals with vaginismus and vulvodynia. Her Pain to Pleasure self-paced course includes five video modules with step-by-step instructions and a tracker to aid recovery. The course is designed for non-dilator owners and beginners with dilators. It covers topics such as using a dilator, pelvic floor awareness, dating with these conditions, and building support systems. 

She also offers a WhatsApp support group, a Notion template to track progress, educational materials, and a directory of pelvic floor therapists.

So who can benefit from your content and services?
Folk who experience pain symptoms in penetrative sex, signs of vaginismus and/or vulvodynia, or are using dilators as a treatment.

Azia believes these conditions aren't just physical - they also have emotional and mental components that must be addressed. Therefore, her offerings include somatic healing practices like breathwork, mindset work, mobility training, and subconscious reprogramming.

What's the most common misconception about vaginismus? 
"The most common misconception about vaginismus and vulvodynia is that they're not recoverable. But that's not true!" Instead, Azia encourages people to seek help from a pelvic floor therapist and gynecologist who will listen to their story, create a safe, compassionate space to validate their experiences and collaborate on a treatment that best aligns with their values and body.

Find out what Azia's favorites are from our sex-positive marketplace.

A piece of advice you missed when you were younger about sexuality? 
Azia's advice on sexuality is simple but powerful: Your pleasure is just as valid and necessary as the other person's. She encourages everyone to explore their desires and speak up about their needs with their partner.

Proud client moment 
One client said, "I felt seen, heard, and supported in a way that I have never felt before." This is what Azia's business is all about - empowering people with the knowledge and tools they need to take control of their health and wellness.

What do you wish more people knew about sexual pain-related issues?
It's important to stop normalizing painful penetrative sex. Seeking medical help from a pelvic floor therapist is a normal and acceptable solution. Underlying problems can often be treated, especially for vulva owners who face societal pressure to prioritize their partner's pleasure over their needs. Speaking up about our needs is crucial, and seeking help is a positive step towards a more fulfilling sex life.

What is something new you are working on?
This summer, I'm excited to release my podcast, "The Sensual Shift," where we explore a slow and intersectional healing journey in various areas of life, including the body, mind, sexuality, movement, generational trauma, digital environment, and energetics. 

We encourage vulnerability and intimacy with yourself as you navigate your self-growth journey, and we emphasize that healing is a continual process of shifting and evolving. In addition, I share my personal experiences with vaginismus and vulvodynia and my journey toward exploring pleasure and self-worth. 

Additionally, I want to design a sex toy that can be used for both recovery and outercourse play as part of this healing journey.


Follow for more 
So if you're struggling with vaginismus and vulvodynia, don't hesitate to contact Azia. She's here to help you heal and create a safe space to explore your sexuality. 

Follow her on Instagram (@azia_mery) and TikTok (@azia_mery), check out her website (, and stay tuned for her podcast coming soon!

In short, Azia offers online courses and content but also IRL workshops and events focused on singles, couples, men, women +, and the LGBTQ community, which she is a part of.

You can book her as a speaker; she is active as a UGC creator and has an
online support group for folks with vaginismus and vulvodynia. To join this online support group, simply join Azia’s Pain to Pleasure: Self-Paced Course, and you will be added.

A great place to start is Azia’s TikTok account, as just reading the comments can also help you feel supported.

Here you can find the links to her guides and courses: 

Disclaimer: Azia To is not a medical professional. All products and services are not medical advice. It advised to seek a doctor or medical professional.
A purchase of a digital product or service means the user agrees Azia is not held liable for any physical injury or incident.

Play Partner affiliate program

Azia is one of our first Play Partners who joined our Play Partners Affiliate Program. We love working together with her because of her expertise and energetic vibes! 

Play with passion, promote with purpose - join the Play Partners affiliate program today and be a part of a community that values healthy sexuality, inclusivity, and pleasure.

Are you a sex educator, sexologist, or sex-positive content creator? Then sign-up to see if you can become our next Play Partner.

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