Ali-express: Where Fake and Faak are one and the same

You know the saying: “Try and fail, but never fail to try”? The Konfettie team tries - see what I did there - to put these words into action once in a while.

“Luckily”, doing this is facilitated by the adult toy industry, which is a complete and utter, unregulated mess with a lot of complete and utter, unregulated mess. Take this dildo from FAAK on AliExpress. Burn baby, burn.

“Our products has passed the FDA, RoHs, CE, CNAS and many other tests and acquired certification. Safe and environmental protection.” Just a random quote from a statement bij FAAK, part of the QLOVE Technology Group in China and a seller on AliExpress with many resellers on Etsy. This quote perfectly reflects the shameful attitude of many adult toy companies, that claim to have obtained certificates which “prove” they create body-safe products. Give me a break.  

This smells fishy

So, it was that time of the month again. We received another shady package, from another dubious company, containing another ludicrous product to look into. Only by perceiving, feeling and smelling the FAAK dildo for a split second, we could already draw our substantiated conclusions. This is, like always, the moment that the fun commences: contacting customer support.

Rest assured

The dildo is made from PVC, also known as Poly Vinyl Chloride. In our humble opinion, considering PVC is one of the worst sex toy materials as far as porosity and toxicity, Porous Venomous Criminality would be a better description. Though, this customer service employee told us to be rest assured, since the product is safe and we can use it with condoms. Thanks to this blessed soul, we were put at ease.

Ha, kidding. The person on the other side of the screen has some exhilarating nerves, claiming putting this piece of garbage into a human body is considered safe and okay. And we didn’t even get into the fact - that’s actually not a fact - that using PVC with a condom would solve everything. How do you sleep at night? 

Case closed

Yes, condoms are great for safer sex in regard to pregnancies and STD’s. No, condoms change absolutely nothing about the fact that your toy is not body-safe. Besides the fact that condoms on porous toys further degrade the material, there is absolutely no proof that condoms offer any protection against toys containing phthalates, chlorine and other toxicants. If you love your body, you really shouldn’t be using non body-safe sex toys in the first place. Case closed.

Curious about our collection of body-safe toys?

Then start your safe shopping journey.